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| Funny Rowan Atkinson quotes! |
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| POSTED Saturday, November 27, 2004 04:30:35 AM |
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| REPLIED Saturday, November 27, 2004 05:53:58 AM |
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| REPLIED Saturday, November 27, 2004 07:29:30 AM |
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| REPLIED Saturday, November 27, 2004 12:45:45 PM |
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| REPLIED Saturday, November 27, 2004 01:14:38 PM |
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Heres some from Blackadder:
Don't be absurd. Such activities are totally beyond my mother. My father only got anywhere with her because he told her it was a cure for diarrhea.
(to Baldrick) If you were to serve up one of your meals in Staff HQ, you would be arrested for the greatest mass poisoning since Lucretia Borgia invited 500 of her close friends round for a wine and anthrax party.
This place stinks like a pair of armoured trousers after the Hundred Years War. Baldrick, have you been eating dung again?
A man may fight for many things. His country, his friends, his principles, the glistening ear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally, I'd mud-wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock and a sack of French porn.
Couldn't resist Baldrick's poem
"Hear the words I sing,
War's a horrid thing,
But still I sing, sing, sing,
Ding a ling a ling."
"Surprised to see your old nemesis, Optimus Primal? I believe we have some catching up to do. A few memory gaps to fill. Let's start with the Beast Wars. They are over. You lost."
- Megatron
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| REPLIED Sunday , November 28, 2004 04:53:15 AM |
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| REPLIED Sunday , November 28, 2004 05:58:50 AM |
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| REPLIED Sunday , November 28, 2004 09:06:12 AM |
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Blackadder goes Forth was set in WW1, that's why the characters talk about the King of England instead of the Queen.
'Now I shall attempt to get out of the army by pretending to be mad. They'll have me shipped back to Blighty faster than you can say Wooble. You ask me some questions to prove my insanity.' - Blackadder.
'OK sir. What is your name?' - Baldrick.
'Wooble.' - Blackadder.
'What is 2 + 2?' - Baldrick.
'Wooble Wooble.' - Blackadder.
'Where do you live?' - Baldrick.
'London.' - Blackadder.
'Aye?' - Baldrick.
'A small little village on Mars just outside the capital city... Wooble.' - Blackadder.
'I'm afraid I've gone mad, my old man's a mushroom etcetra.' - Blackadder.
'What possible reason do you have to think I didn't paint this?' - Blackadder.
'3 reasons actually, first you're in it.' - Capt. Darling.
'It's a self portrait.' - Blackadder.
'Second, you said you couldn't paint.' - Capt. Darling.
'One doesn't like to blow his own trumpet.' - Blackadder.
'And third it's signed George.' - Capt. Darling.
'Well spotted, but not signed George. Dedicated to George, King George. Gentlemen, the king! (All Salute)' - Blackadder.
'The King!' - All.
'Where?' - Baldrick.
'Soldier, do you love your country?' - General Melched.
'Certainly do sir.' - Baldrick.
'Do you love your King?' - General Melched.
'Certainly don't sir.' - Baldrick.
'And why not?' - General Melched.
'My mother always told me to never trust men with beards sir.' - Baldrick.
'Security isn't a dirty word Blackadder, Crevis is a dirty word but not security.' - General Melched.
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'I'm only doing my job Blackadder.' - Capt. Daring.
'Now there's another dirty word, job.' - General Melched.
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'Truth is, there's a leak.' - Capt. Darling.
'Now leak is a positively disgusting word.' - General Melched.
'We'll sure give those Frenchies a damn fine licking, aye Blackadder?' - General Melched.
'No sir, it is the Germans we shall be licking actually sir.' - Capt. Darling.
'Don't be revolting Darling! I wouldn't lick a German even if he was glazed in honey!' - General Melched.
'This man's as sane as I, Baaahhh!' - General Melched.
The Doctor: Even the monsters under your bed have nightmares...
Reinette: What do monsters have nightmares about?
The Doctor: Me!
 100% Welsh Spider-Man and Dr Who fan.
"He looks like a man... But he's a legend... And he's called 'The Doctor'." |
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| REPLIED Sunday , November 28, 2004 10:55:37 AM |
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| REPLIED Sunday , November 28, 2004 11:27:39 AM |
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| REPLIED Sunday , November 28, 2004 12:35:27 PM |
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| REPLIED Sunday , November 28, 2004 01:12:07 PM |
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| REPLIED Wednesday, December 01, 2004 02:35:45 PM |
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'We've been fighting the Great war for three years now and we've made as much advancement as an ahsmatic ant with a rather large, heavy pile of shopping.' - Blackadder.
'I fear he may be as hard to find as a piece of hay in a big stack of needles.' - Blackadder.
'So you're a chap are you Bob?' - Blackadder.
'Yes sir, ahhh!(Laughs masculinly)' - Bob (Kate).
'You wouldn't say you were a girl at all?' - Blackadder.
'Oh no sir, I understand cricket, I fart in bed, everything!' - Bob (Kate).
'Let me put it another way Bob, you are a girl and you have as much talent for disguise as a giraffe with a pair of sunglasses trying to get in to a polar bear only golf club.' - Blackadder.
'I am a busy man and don't have time to hit you Baldrick. Here is my fist, kindly run at it please.' - Blackadder.
'And what do you chaps do?' - Blackadder.
'We're your firing squad sir.' - Capt. Hodges.
'Oh, brilliant.' - Baldrick.
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'Any place you'd like us to aim for in particular sir?' - Private Jones.
'Yes, just above my head if you could?' - Blackadder.
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'We'll see you tomorrow sir, you'll be blindfolded of course though, but you'll hear me. I'm the one who says Ready, Aim, Fire.' - Capt. Hodges.
'Yes, you couldn't put a gap between the words aim and fire could you? Thirty or forty years if possible?' - Blackadder.
'I wish I could sir, but I'm a gabbler I am, READYAIMFIRE!' - Capt. Hodges.
'I must say sir, I've got to admire your balls.' - Prison guard.
'Perhaps later.' - Blackadder.
'Where do want me?' - Blackadder.
'Up against the wall is usual sir.' - Capt. Hodges.
'Of course, which side?' - Blackadder.
And some classic Lord Flashheart's
'No not half an hour you t***! Now send the b**** with the wheels or I'll fly back to England and give your wife something to hang her towel on!' - Flashheart.
'If I don't tell HQ that I'm not dead 500 girls back home will kill themselves, and I wouldn't want that on my concience!' - Flashheart.
'Flashheart, this is Capt. Darling.' - Blackadder.
'Capt. Darling? Bit of a weird name for a guy isn't it? The last person I called darling was pregnant 20 seconds later!' - Flashheart.
'Nursey! Am I happy to see you or did someone put a canoe in my pocket? Whoa, down boy!' - Flashheart.
'You treat your kite (Plane) like you treat your woman!' - Flashheart.
'How do you mean sir? Do you mean take her home on the weekends to meet your mum?' - Lt. George.
'NO! I mean get inside her 5 times a day and take her to Heaven and back!' - Flashheart.
The Doctor: Even the monsters under your bed have nightmares...
Reinette: What do monsters have nightmares about?
The Doctor: Me!
100% Welsh Spider-Man and Dr Who fan.
"He looks like a man... But he's a legend... And he's called 'The Doctor'." |
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| REPLIED Thursday, December 02, 2004 05:52:51 AM |
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| REPLIED Thursday, December 02, 2004 06:19:41 AM |
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| REPLIED Saturday, December 04, 2004 01:26:09 PM |
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| REPLIED Tuesday, December 14, 2004 01:17:56 PM |
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| REPLIED Saturday, December 18, 2004 09:52:22 AM |
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Another classic Flashheart;
'I'm not wearing any underpants, ask me why I'm not wearing any underpants boys.' - Flashheart.
'Why aren't you wearing any underpants Lord Flashheart?' - Troops.
'Because the pants haven't been built to take the job on, WOOF!' - Flashheart.
Blackadder's trial, with George as the lawyer.
'Your honour, members of the jury, you have heard all the evidence put forward to you today but in the end it is your choice. Your opinion will judge the future of this man's life and I'm sure that after my testomony, you and I will both be in agreement that Capt. Blackadder is completely, totally and utterly guilty!
(Sits down, Blackadder turns paper over, George reads)
... Of nothing more than...
'Well done George you really had them on the ropes.' - Blackadder.
'I'd like to call my first witness, Private Baldrick!' - George.
(Baldrick walks in)
'Deny everything Baldrick.' - Blackadder.
'Are you Private Baldrick?' - George.
'No!' - Baldrick.
'But your commanding officer is Edmund Blackadder?' - George.
'No!' - Baldrick.
'Come on Balders it's me.' - George.
'No it isn't!' - Baldrick.
(Blackadder slams his head on table).
'You know, maybe we could get together after this big global tiff and relive some of the good old times of the war.' - George.
'What? Dig a small trench in your back garden, fill it with water and get your gamekeeper to shoot at us all day?' - Blackadder.
The last jokes of the series.
'Listen... our guns have stopped...' - Darling.
'You don't think...?' - George.
'Maybe the war's over, maybe it's peace!' - Baldrick.
'Well horah! The big knobs have gone round the table, yanked the log out of the fire! Horah!' - George.
'We lived through it, the Great war, 1914 to 1917!' - Darling.
'Horah!' - George.
'Horah!' - Troops.
'I'm afraid not. The guns have stopped because we're about to go over, not even our generals ar mad enough to shell their own men, they think it's far more sporting to let the Germans do it.' - Blackadder.
The Doctor: Even the monsters under your bed have nightmares...
Reinette: What do monsters have nightmares about?
The Doctor: Me!
100% Welsh Spider-Man and Dr Who fan.
"He looks like a man... But he's a legend... And he's called 'The Doctor'." |
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| REPLIED Wednesday, December 22, 2004 11:05:28 AM |
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| REPLIED Monday , January 03, 2005 12:27:34 PM |
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| REPLIED Saturday, July 29, 2006 04:13:55 AM |
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