BY DANIEL BAIG | At first we were all grumbling. Why, we -- the members of the press corps assembled that Monday to cover the Minority Report and Scooby-Doo press day events -- wondered, was Warner Brothers (the studio behind Scooby-Doo) doing this?

The "this" they were doing was making us do was drive to Burbank first thing Monday morning, knowing that we were supposed to be back in Beverly Hills by twelve to check in for the Minority Report Tom Cruise group interview many of us were also committed to participating in. This would be tricky, as, according to Warner Brothers' schedule, the Scooby-Doo event wasn't due to end until . . . twelve.

It just didn't seem to make sense. As I've mentioned in a previous article, the crowded nature of the movie marketplace being what it is, studios inevitably end up promoting movies over the same weekends/on the same days. But, knowing that reporters (especially the ones who ((unlike me, based here in Los Angeles)) are "junketeers," flying in from other parts of the country ((and Canada, still technically a separate nation)) for three day stretches in which they may cover as many as five different upcoming releases, are usually there not just for their own film but their competitor(s)' as well, the studios work together to mesh their schedules so it's all possible.

One of the biggest ways in which this cooperation plays out is in choice of venue: as you've read many times before if you regularly read my junket dispatches, the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills is far and away the most popular location for press days. And it's not uncommon for two, three, or even four different movies, from competing studios, to all be holding their events there over the same two or three days. (This is often referred to as "piggy-backing," the film which is metaphorically on the other's shoulders having either chosen that date after the ride-giving movie, or being seen as being less high-profile, or both.) The Four Seasons is a big enough hotel that this isn't a problem; they have a lot of meeting rooms.

And even if another movie is not holding its press day at the Four Seasons while one or more is, it will then typically be held just down the street, at the Beverly Wilshire, or else another very short trip away, in one of the big modern Century City hotels.

But Warner Brothers, instead of having their event at the Four Seasons along with Twentieth Century Fox' Minority Report, was inexplicably, it seemed -- though it turns out to have been quite explicable -- holding their press day on their lot, which A) isn't convenient to the Four Seasons, and B) has ridiculously tight security (for some reason, the movie studios still seem to think they're an obvious target for terrorists, right up there with airports and the White House), which always means delays.

Well, first of all, it turns out I, and all the rest of the whiners, needn't have worried. Warner Brothers was well aware of the Minority Report event (despite the fact that the schedule which they had given us, which implied that we needed to possess the ability to instantly beam ourselves from their lot to the Four Seasons the moment the Scooby-Doo event ended -- and how could we do that? "beaming" is, of course, a Star Trek invention, and Star Trek is a Paramount property, one which obviously neither Warners nor Fox would have access to -- gave the impression that they either weren't, or were, but didn't care -- i.e. were hoping that we would choose them over the Minority Report event, which seemed both mean, and nave -- yes, there's no question that Scooby-Doo is one of the summer's bigger and more heavily anticipated releases, but come on, Tom Cruise is still Tom Cruise, and Steven Spielberg is still Steven Spielberg).

So not only did they (Warner Brothers) make sure that the Scooby-Doo event ended in time for us to drive (not teleport) from their lot to Beverly Hills, they also ferried us back to the studio gates on golf carts, and reassured us that they were on the phone "with our friends at Fox" making sure that they knew we were coming and wouldn't start without us.

And second of all, once I got on the lot, I, and everybody else, realized why Warner Brothers hadn't held their event at the Four Seasons along with Minority Report.

A first clue was the fact that the actual location of the roundtable interviews was going to be on a soundstage.

A second clue was parked right outside that soundstage: the Mystery Machine itself. From the outside, at least, the van, painted in those distinctive Mystery Inc. colors and patterns, looked just like the "real" thing (the real thing actually, of course, being a cartoon). And I'm sure it was the one (or one of the ones) they used in the movie. (Actually, it only makes a cameo appearance in the film, as most of the movie's storyline takes place on an island the kids fly and then take a boat to.) But it was completely bare inside, a hollow shell.

After opening the soundstage door (with a QUIET WHILE SHOOTING IN PROGRESS sign on it), I found myself walking down a carpeted path that curved between two walls of plants. Light levels were quite low. (Atmospherically so.)

After rounding a bend, I found myself facing a sign, bordered by "flaming" torches, welcoming me to Spooky Island (the location of most of Scooby-Doo's action). There was also a sign that warned me to turn back because of ghosts and monsters.

Once past the signs, I found myself in a large, quite dimly lit room floored in artificial lawn, enclosed on all sides with shrubbery, and decorated on its edges (the roundtables for interviews were in the middle) with numerous items from the set of Scooby-Doo. Included among the props were the large jester/harlequin ghost from the opening scene, a number of stone idol heads, and what were probably bar stools from the story's voodoo-styled resort hotel, with witch doctor-style feathers on their backs. In the corners were more (fake) "flickering" torches.

It was all very impressive; it could have been a themed restaurant in Adventureland at one of the Disney parks. Up close, it also occurred to me that a lot of the design work (like the ghost, etc.) seemed to indicate a strong Tim Burton influence. (I'm referring to his illustrations, like for The Nightmare Before Christmas, not his movie-making.)

* * *

The first item on the day's agenda was a press conference, with the interviewee, the talking dog himself, (do I need to add here supposedly?) speaking to us via a satellite hookup from Australia. All of us reporters reported to a section of the sound stage where we sat in rows of chairs, just like we were at a briefing at the White House (well, perhaps not just like at the White House; Scooby's answers were coherent and grammatically correct . . .), and asked questions of Scooby's disembodied voice coming through a speaker set up in front of us. Very friendly Scooby-Doo screenwriter James Gunn and producer Richard Suckle assisted by repeating our questions to Scooby, and then by "interpreting" from time to time when his answers, delivered in that special way he has of speaking, in which it seems that just about every other word starts with an "r", proved unintelligible to some of the assembled journalists. (Personally, I understood everything Scoob said. But then, I like dogs. Maybe it's just a natural affinity or something.)

Gunn and Suckle told us that the reason why Scooby was in Australia, as opposed to being there with us in person (or should that be "in dog?"), was because he was filming his part in "The Matrix Two." (Well, he is a Warner Brothers character, and those are Warner Brothers films . . .)

Unfortunately, Doo seemed to temporarily forget this when, just a few minutes later, a dweeby, nasally reporter, who obviously hadn't been paying attention, asked him why he wasn't with us there today. Scooby's answer was, "Well, rime on racation." [sic]

To which producer Suckle added, "He's on vacation when he's not shooting The Matrix."

Scooby quickly picked up on the seeming discrepancy, and confidently echoed Suckle: "Yes. Re're in between takes!" [sic]

The way "takes" ended up sounding rather like "tykes," along with numerous other little similar giveaways, led me to ask Scooby if I wasn't indeed hearing him speak in an Australian accent.

Screenwriter Gunn repeated my question to Scooby as, "Have you picked up a little bit of an Australian accent?"

Scooby answered, "Well, a rittle bit, yes. Listen to this -- Rid day!" [sic] Oddly, the only part of his answer that didn't sound Australian was the "Good day!"

A nosy reporter asked the affable canine if he had a love life. Scoob's clever -- though at the same time heartfelt -- reply: "Rye have a ruv affair with food! Mmmm . . . !" [sic]

Scooby was asked if he'd ever met Casper the Friendly Ghost. All of a sudden the calm, confident voice on the other end of the connection sounded panicky and scared. "R-r-rhost?? Did someone say rhost??" [sic]

As a journalist I'm honor bound to report the truth, but I'm still sad to say that Scooby-Doo did then let out a prolonged whimper . . .

So who is your favorite cartoon character, Scooby?

"Rogi Bear! He ruvs food, too!"

* * *

The first biped whom he interviewed was the movie's director, Raja Gosnell.

He was asked about the decision to have the Mystery Inc. gang go up against truly supernatural (and not just faking it) foes this time.

"Well, the most recent direct-to-video Scooby movies have also dealt with real supernatural elements, so we didn't break the mold. But it felt really important if you're going to make a really big feature Scooby thing to break some of the conventions and to go one step bigger than the show."

The subject of the movie's occasional jokes making reference to what could be seen as pothead traits in Shaggy was brought up.

Said Raja, "There's always sort of been whispers, because Shaggy eats all the time . . . 'Why does Shaggy always have the munchies?' So, we felt we couldn't make a Scooby-Doo movie and not at least have a little nod and a wink to that, or certain other things about the characters that you've suspected all these years. So yeah, it was very intentional."

To which I followed up by saying that one of those "certain other things about the characters" that at least some people have been "suspecting" for years about Velma was, with one brief exception, not really played with.

"That is correct. Yeah, we talked about it. We shot a couple of things, but . . . ."

There was, I pointed out, the tickling moment.

"Yeah," Raja said, "and then there's the bit where the guy tries to kiss her at the end and she says, 'You're fogging up my glasses,' and gives him a little punch. So, you know, if you're looking for it, it's there. Our general operating code was, 'If you're looking for it, you'll probably find it, and if you're not . . . .'

It turned out I was definitely right about the guy who did the voice of Scooby this time around being Australian. He was hired in Australia, initially just to provide lines for the actors to react to on set during filming, but ended up being the actual voice.

I said that though it was pretty easy to tell in today's press conference that Scooby was now an Aussie, I hadn't noticed it in the movie. Perhaps because in the movie Scooby spoke in much shorter sentences than he did for us today?

Not quite, Raja answered. "It was more that we had more time to edit and work with the elements. [Today] was live."

Raja was asked about the negative buzz about Scooby-Doo which started appearing on a certain popular and influential website (not this one!) way back in the production process.

"I'm surprised at the level of hatred that it espoused. I think that there's enough hatred in the world that to focus that much on the Scooby-Doo movie seemed a little sad, honestly. It did seem a little sad."

* * *

Next we spoke with Freddie Prinze, Jr., Fred of course, and Linda Cardellini, who plays Velma. Not that you'd know it if you weren't told it. In person, without Velma's wig and dowdy clothes, Linda looks nothing like her famous character. She's actually terribly attractive.

Freddie was asked about his notorious obsession with Scooby Doo. He proudly told us that he owns every single episode of every version of the show ever made. BUT, "I'm not a fan, I'm not a geek -- I'm a Scooby stud!"

Freddie lamented to us what "a pain in the ass" keeping his hair dyed correctly blond was. "I never thought I would ever use the term 'roots,' or 'my dye job' or, 'my color's not holding!' It's a big pain. I suffered for my art."

Why not a wig then? I asked him. It was a wig in the opening sequence, right?

"It was, yes. I had the bright idea that a wig would be a hassle and more trouble than it's worth. And so I thought it would be brilliant to dye my hair, and that was the wrong choice."

Another reporter broached with Linda the subject of "Velma's missing lesbian scenes."

"There were some interesting scenes, I think," Linda said, "that ended up having to go -- "

"Great scenes," interrupted Freddie.

Linda continued, "There was one scene where Velma sings and dances on a piano after -- "

"It was the best scene in the movie," interjected Freddie.

"Qafter she's had a few of the hotel special drinks."

What did she sing?

"She sings, 'Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You.'"

To Daphne?

Freddie answered. "We don't know! We don't know if she's singing to Daphne or Fred. We don't know."

Linda went on. "Which is part of the joke. And at one point she sheds her sweater, and she's got something funny underneath, and, you know . . . it became a little risqui."

Will it be on the DVD? I asked.

"God, I hope so," commented Fred.

What was underneath the sweater?

Freddie jumped in: "A big tattoo that says 'LESBIAN'!"

Everyone cracked up.

Linda supplied the real answer: "It was sort of a 1940's style industrial bra, like a Rosie the Riveter type of look."