BY DAVID SERVER | My fourth and final day had finally arrived, and I sadly reflected that this would be my final Hell-Bus trip to the now very familiar Palmer Street set. I headed downstairs and hopped into the bus, only to realize that del Toro and Navarro were actually on board for my ride in today! It struck me as a fitting way to travel to the set for the final time, and it was always a pleasure to get any extra time with the man behind the film. On the ride over, del Toro and I discussed comic shops in Paris (he seems to know the location of at least one comic book store in every major geographical location) and more. As the Hell-Bus slowed, I realized that this was in fact not the Palmer Street set, but another big warehouse. I hopped out to check it out, and was interested to see the very bare frame-work of...something. Clearly this set, which was labeled as 'The CATACOMBS/CATHEDRAL', was only just now taking the very beginning of its final design. So far, it looked like a large, square-ish wooden frame, with very high ceilings and a lot of gothic arches starting to take shape.

I listened in on del Toro's discussion with some of those planning the continued construction of the set. The general verdict seemed to be that del Toro really liked what had been constructed thus far, especially the grand size of it. However, they were preparing to build a tunnel which was to lead into the large open area, but del Toro realized that the tunnel, as currently planned, would not be long enough for whatever crazy stunt I'm sure he had in mind (I think maybe I heard something about someone being dragged?). After some discussions between del Toro, Navarro, Producer Patrick Palmer, and the building crew regarding how a reworking of the tunnel architecture would affect the shooting schedule, a small scale model of the set, as it's planned to look once completed, was brought out, along with some production sketches. Basically, it lived up to its name -- it's looked like a long craggy stone tunnel which leads to a crumbling cathedral, all very Mignola-looking, with some kind of device at the far end. I dunno what it was, so don't ask. Looked pretty groovy, though. The set, whatever it is, looks to play an integral role in the film's climax.

After all the discussions about this new set were completed, we hopped back into the Hell-Bus and headed towards Palmer Street for the final time (for me, anyways). En route to the set, del Toro grabbed his cell phone and checked how many bare-chested Hellboy prosthetics were left on call, as he envisioned an upcoming scene featuring Hellboy with ripped clothing, "like a Doc Savage comic." The visual homages in this film are clearly even more frequent than you might expect. And you've gotta respect a guy who literally thinks in terms of comic book imagery.

Once we arrived at 'Palmer Street', I looked around to see if anything had changed since last night, and lo-and-behold, it had. When stunt-Hellboy had left a gaping hole in the wall yesterday, there was nothing behind those tiles but air. Now, the wall had been retouched with spray-painted foam, to create the illusion of shattered concrete. I'm not even sure when the crew had time to install this new bit of set dressing, let alone create it, but there it was. I sat down and chatted more with Tom (the stunt coordinator) and Moira (the Unit Publicist), who was also curious about fan reactions to the released material thus far. During our chat, I peered off to the right and noticed RonBoy lumbering on set, finishing up a cigarette (and blowing the smoke out his nose), and throwing me a hardy wave before going about his duties for the day. I then peeked over at Brian Steele, who was all dressed as Sammael except his head (which is pretty funny looking stickin' out of that huge demon's body), and he gave me a similarly enthusiastic wave and grin. Once Brian was all Sammael-ed up (head and all), and Ron was fully costumed (with his animatronic tail, to boot) it was time for the fight to continue. In this shot, Hellboy finally starts giving a classic Hellboy-style ass-whoopin', as he collects himself from being slammed into the subway wall, takes a look around, notices a payphone, rips it off the wall (creating sparks-a-plenty), and gets ready to start raining down some seriously painful blows on ole' Sammy.

As I waited for the shot to begin shooting, someone from the crew noticed my Hellboy t-shirt, and we talked for a few minutes about how he had just recently finished reading the Hellboy stories 'Box Full of Evil' (a personal favorite of mine) and 'The Corpse.' It was neat to see that even though some of the crew, Czech and non-Czech, had never heard of Hellboy before the shoot, watching all this demon brawling has apparently piqued their curiosity and thereby brought even more readers to Hellboy. Even before the movie's out, it's finding new readership for the comics. I thought that was kind of neat.

We then reached an interesting conundrum for any geek. In the next shot, Hellboy actually starts to beat Sammael with the now-detatched-and-ready-for-bludgeoning payphone. But, knowing Hellboy, he wouldn't simply do this in silence. A catchy (and annoyed) phrase of some sort must accompany the beating -- but what? Perlman offered the suggestion, "You'd better call your lawyer." However, del Toro corrected him, saying that Hellboy's quips are generally less witty and more practical. Something more along the lines of, say, "Boom!" or "That's all for you!" (a favorite of del Toro's). So as to possibly contribute something to the filmic Hellboy lore, I suggested a reworking of a favorite line of mine from the Hellboy mini-series 'Conqueror Worm', when Hellboy is battling with one of evil Nazi mad-scientists Dr. Herman Von Klempt's evil cybernetic Gorillas, the Kriegaffe. "You Goddamn Nazi Frankenstein Monkey!", I blurted out energetically. In any other place or time, I *guarantee* you, this would be a strange thing to say. But on the Hellboy set, it was not only appropriate, but met with legitimate consideration. Del Toro soon thereafter realized that a reworked line similar to my idea already appeared elsewhere in the script (drat!), but that he had something else in mind. He told Ron what he was thinking, and sent him off to give it a shot. I watched with baited breath to see what the final beating quip would be...

Hellboy, phone in hand and ready for some serious payback, swings as hard as he can and cracks Sammael across his big slobbering maw with the phone, sending him reeling back in pain, and bellows, "See! It hurts!!! You shouldn't..." *SMACK!* "...HIT..." *BAM!* "...PEOPLE!!!" *POW!* Sammael goes down. Truly I am witnessing a moment any Hellboy fan would be proud of. I watch this happen a couple more times (and don't get tired of it), and notice something pretty cool. For you hardcore Hellboy fans out there, you'll know that Mike Mignola makes a point of not drawing Hellboy's upper teeth very often (if ever), but instead accentuates HB's lower teeth, creating a sort of sneering/growly look. Apparently, Ron Perlman is aware of this too, because when he's pissed off and slamming Sammy with that phone, there were times I could swear he had transcended flesh and become a Mignola panel. For all the great stuff I saw during my visit, this struck me as one of the coolest little touches. Look for it in the final film.

As shooting slowed a bit for some effects reference shots, I chatted with Tim, one of the effects folks, and after we wrapped up our chat it was time for my final Hell-meal. As final meals go, it was quite tasty -- BBQ chicken and ham. Yum. But you're not here to read about food, you're here to read about Hellboy, damnit! So moving on, after lunch, there was more footage shot of Sammael getting beat down with that payphone. The phone was rigged up to spew spare change out the bottom when it connected with Sammael, so every smack was accompanied by loose change flying everywhere. It seemed the more they shot, the more they encouraged Perlman to actually hit Sammael with the phone and not just fake it. I wouldn't want to be Brian Steele in there after that particular bit of advice, but by the end of the shot he seemed okay in there.

I was then privy to my final full-length geek chat with del Toro, and it proved to be quite an interesting one. It had been mentioned earlier that Mike Mignola owed del Toro some original Hellboy art from some of the classic HB stories, but I was curious how del Toro actually managed this. Apparently, there were two specific things del Toro dreamed up for the Hellboy movie that Mignola simply would *not* approve of, one of those things being a gigantic (like, 2 or 3 stories tall) stone rocking cradle that Hellboy would arrive on Earth in during the first scene. Guillermo and Mike had many spirited arguments regarding the scenes in question, and so they resolved the issue by agreeing to leave the scenes out, in exchange for Guillermo scoring some original work from Mignola. Heh heh, sounds like a fair solution to me!

Another thing you won't see in the movie come next Memorial Day weekend is a wiry precognicent albino BPRD agent named Winters. Agent Winters was an original character created specifically for the film, who was removed from the script right before production. Having read an older copy of the script that still featured Winters, I was disappointed to see him go, as he was a character I was looking forward to seeing alongside Hellboy and Abe in the film. I asked why he got the axe. Del Toro told me that he felt awkward introducing a character that isn't from the comics when there are so many good characters in the comics he could have used instead. I didn't totally agree with this point, but he said that ultimately, Winters' screen time instead went towards more development of Abe Sapien, and that I could appreciate. In retrospect, del Toro claimed that he could have used newly created BPRD agent Johann Kraus, a German 'physical medium' who, (after an unfortunate siance accident) now lives only as ectoplasm in a translucent containment suit, in place of Winters, but that he didn't think of it in time. Guillermo is insistent that, should 'Hellboy' prove a Box Office success, Kraus is a definite shoe-in for 'Hellboy 2'. Other favorites that are likely candidates for an appearance in HB2 according to Guillermo are the following: BPRD agent Roger the Homunculus, an artificial human composed of herbs and bodily fluids, stewed in a jar and then incubated in horse manure, who wears a big chain that covers his crotch, which del Toro finds very amusing (if you had not yet realized how weird Hellboy can be -- well, now you have), and the villainous (and previously mentioned) Kriegaffe, cybernetically enhanced Nazi war-gorillas that do the bidding of a decapitated floating Nazi head-in-a-jar. Don't expect to see powerless female BPRD Agent Kate Corrigan, however, 'cause del Toro simply doesn't like her all that much. Sorry Kate fans.

I was then informed by del Toro that he had something for me to take home with me. No kidding! Four amazing days in Prague, *and* a souvenir? This was too much. "You're going to leave a little brown stain in your shorts, man." Yay! These are the sorts of things that would sound really weird coming from a lesser man, but from del Toro, it's both hilarious and true (kidding!). What del Toro brought me was truly something special. If you've been to Hellsite and looked through the image gallery, you've noticed an image of a prop that exists in the film -- a fake comic book, dressed to look like it's from way back when, featuring Hellboy battling the Kriegaffe -- "Cry Kriegaffe," it reads, "Scourge of the Super-Ape!" With cover art by Mike Mignola ('aping' the style of a classic Thor cover by Jack Kirby), this was a truly groovy prop. There were only 10 of these printed, I was told. And I got to keep one. "Hey, wait," del Toro said. "No, take this back." Oh no! Had I somehow offended him? Did I disgrace him by not *actually* leaving a little brown spot in my shorts? Was I not geek enough to have such an honor bestowed upon me? "This one's dirty! Get him a cleaner one!" Big sigh of relief. After I was provided with my new and improved *clean* Hellboy prop comic, del Toro graced it with his signature (on the inside, of course, so as not to ruin the cover), and then called Perlman over to do the same (who, after jokingly refusing, graciously complied). Guillermo insisted that I get Mike Mignola to sign in the third empty space, which I promised to do at the forthcoming San Diego Comicon (if anyone reading this is attending this year, watch for me pestering Mike at his booth!). I thanked Guillermo and Ron again for their generosity, and carefully tucked away my new prized possession into my bag.

After that extended chat, it was back to shooting. In this shot, Hellboy comes down on Sammael with the phone one final time, only to have the phone forced out of his hand, sending it flying through the air and smashing the tiles that identify the area as Palmer Street. Apparently, the phone was to be added later via CG, so instead Perlman just held his hand out looked really frustrated, flung it to the side, and then the camera followed nothing until it reached the wall tiles. They did this a few times, and then it was time for them to shoot the last shot I would get to watch while on set. In this shot, Sammael attacks Hellboy repeatedly, as Hellboy dodges to the left and right, and on the third attack, Sammael takes out another subway pillar (today is not a good day to be a subway pillar on Palmer street in the Hellboy movie-verse, apparently). They attempt this shot a few times, but something just isn't right. For some reason, Sammael doesn't look so much fierce as fiercely bored. Guillermo took note of this, and headed over to help Sammael actor Brian Steele look a little more pissed off. He also encouraged the drool people to kick it up a notch (not an uncommon request on this set, it would seem). Suddenly, Steele is nailing every take. Sammael looks deadly and pissed off and angry -- these shots are gold. He's shakin', there's drool going all over the place -- very cool looking stuff. Del Toro commented to those surrounding him how much better these shots are looking, and that now Sammael has "good rage" and "looks like a warrior, not a ballerina." In one take, Sammael's rage was *so* intense that he accidentally decked the camera lense! Everyone was fine and nothing broke, but there was some definite amusement amongst the extras who crowded around to watch the playback. I then heard del Toro comment, "Make sure Todd does the Hellboy teeth," in reference to Hellboy's prominent grimacing display of his lower set of teeth, "otherwise he looks like my Aunt Edna!"

I suddenly realized that I'd been paying so much attention to Sammael and his fierce un-ballerina-like attacks that I didn't notice that Ron hadn't been shooting for quite some time, and it had only been Todd Bryant, his stunt double. I nervously checked to see if Ron had already wrapped shooting for the day, and was informed that he had. I was somewhat saddened by this, as I had hoped to issue a somewhat formal goodbye and thank him for the interview, as well as just occasionally "shooting the sh*t", as he put it (which was, by the way, very cool). Luckily, a few minutes later, who should wander back on set but Perlman himself, now back to his fully human form, to watch some of Todd's playback. I offered a thank you and relayed my excitement about the project one final time, especially after this visit, and he replied with a solid hand shake, and a warm goodbye -- at least, until the press junket, that is. Then, Ron was wrapped for the night, and the real Hellboy, as far as I'm concerned, had left the building.

After that, it was mostly wrapping up. Todd shot some more takes of what Ron had done earlier, watching Ron's footage and then doing his best to emulate it effectively. Then, after about half an hour of that, they had wrapped for the night. On my way out, while still trying my best not to hold-up my final journey in the Hell-Bus with the Guillermos, I said goodbye to as many of the people I had met on set as possible. I was pleasantly and unpleasantly surprised when I realized that I had become friendly with so many people there by this point, that I couldn't get to all of them in time...hopefully some of those folks are reading this now (Bye Tom! Bye Moira!). I did say my farewells to a lot of folks, though, and on my way out I took one last longing look at Palmer Street. I finally loaded myself into the Hell-Bus for my final chat with del Toro, Navarro, and my driver. I gave my final goodbyes to Guillermo del Toro as we reached my hotel. After I thanked him about a hundred times for not only putting up with me for four whole days but hanging out and chatting on numerous occasions, as well as telling him what a great time I had and how groovy the project is looking, he gave me a sturdy and friendly pat on the back and said that he'd see me back in LA before too long. And like that, off they went and I was done.

Thus ended my journey into Hell and back, Dante-style. Hopefully, those of you who have read these articles now have a greater sense of appreciation for the work going on out in Prague, and for the creativity behind it, from all involved. There's some real magic going on out there, and I think we're all in for something really special next summer. Guillermo del Toro, Ron Perlman, the guys at Spectral Motion, the guys from Tippett Studios, and everyone out there is working, hoping to satisfy you guys - the fans. And as one of you myself, I think I can honestly say that when Memorial Day weekend 2004 comes around, and you finally step out of that movie theater, there's one classic Hellboy phrase you won't find yourself uttering. "Aw crap." Cause Hell looks pretty good to me. And I should know -- I've been there.